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There are a few things I always feel like I should say to the world when I open up space monkeys. One is, “I’m so, so, sosorry,” but I’m really not. The next is, “It isn’t really my fault!” but it basically is. Finally, “at least all the porn’s implied in this one.” That’s completely true.

There’s an excuse for space monkeys. You see, when I was very young (and even more innocent), Sasha linked me to this hockey site. There was a fic with Mike Comrie, and maybe Eric Brewer. There were drinks and it was slow and sexy and all of a sudden, hockey porn wasn’t just in my head! We all know I’m talking about Robyn, who else loves Comrie that stupidly much. Time went on and I learned to loooove her for her insanity, and there probably isn’t a person alive who understands this crack as much as I do or encourages me so much in my madness. So Robyn gave me ideas for this and said supportive stuff like “ha ha ha wtf yes!” Dion Phaneuf is her fault.

Robyn got me through the first 5000 words of this puppy.

Then there was Cassidy. Cassidy and I met over Ales and Ilya. Being the versatile kid I am, I learned to love the Thrashers and baseball and somehow, we ended up roleplaying future!fic and then there was werewolves and finally Harry Potter knockoff. Cassidy says, “what’s wrong with you?” a lot, but she never actually—like. Eventually, I always get my way. Also? She asked for this.

I guess there are things you need to know if you’re a casual reader. I’ve very, very helpfully picture linked a character the first time they appear, because. Like, I like hockey-and-soccer-and-baseball-and-curling, but I GET that not everyone does! If you’re reading this for Jeff Francoeur on page 14, I don’t expect you to get the sneaky reference to Moreau and Staios’ long-and-short-sleeved-shirt combos.

If you think that takes away from the fic? FUCK YOU ignore the links, loserface. They're pretty subtle.

What else can I say. Major, major thanks to Camille for the read-through and basically anyone who said, “yeah you’re insane, do it anyways.” Cassidy asked for Roethlisberger/Prior in space, but she also gave me an opening for smuggler Crosby/Malkin/Staal. The end result?




( Sidney Crosby, SPACE PIRATE! )

( Sidney Crosby, SPACE PIRATE II )

This whole concept is actually a little oldish. Over the summer, I read a werewolf series and I was like neato! And all of a sudden, I was alone in California and Ales Hemsky was a necromancer. Clearly, that concept requires a bigass fic.

So this is a prologuey thing. We've got some Eric Staal and some Hemsky and no interaction, just letting you see, like. How they got to where they are and such. It's a party of one.




( Prologue )

A big big big thank you to the people who made this happen. RUTH AND BETH. It's the last CWNT I'll be writing this month, and so it needed a special theme.

This is, in other words, Beth's superpower!Katie Thorlakson fic! Woo!



( Dirty Katie )

I don't consider this thing finished-finished. I never hit Ty-sent-to-military-school or Chad Moreau, gym teacher. There is no sex. Nonetheless, I like it. It's Sykora/Hemskyish. It has mathletes and stuff. It's a party for two, and it's definitely for Robyn.




( Welcome to Skyreach High! )

Michael Barrett! Jose Theodore! Porn Stars! FOR THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD BESIDES ME WHO LIKES THIS PAIRING. :D





( Bats and Balls )

This one is half dedicated to two people. First and foremost is Cat, who actually requested it. Heh. Um. Second is my good friend Sandeep, who will never ever read it but is a wampire who wants to keel me. Or soemthing.

Look. AROD. Jeter. Vamnpires.




( Alex Rodriguez, Wampire Killer? )

And it's a heave ho high ho coming down the plains, stealing wheat and barley and all them other grains
and it's a ho hey high hey, farmers bar your doors when you see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores.

Yeah. That's about all you need to know. Pirately CWNT. Staring the goalies.




( Rammed Their Ship and Sank It )

I was pretty, really scared to attempt cowboys after Kennedy went nuts on hers. It's better than mine, and if you haven't read it you probably should.

Anyhow, this is my attempt. Kate, I promise sexy sexy Ales clubbing fic as an apology.

Steve Staios/Ethan Moreau. As cowboys.




( Yeehaw. )